Uncertain Certain Joy

sukkah-Aaron MI don’t like uncertainty. I doubt that anyone does.

Lately, though, I’ve been swimming in it. In early July, I had the incredible opportunity to study for two weeks with the Jewish Renewal movement. I immersed in community life; met smart, dedicated, and interesting people; and took classes on holy relationships, Hasidic stories, and medieval philosophy. I was there to learn, but also to evaluate…and be evaluated. Continue reading

The So Many Choices

summer at the lakeBeing newly single and on my own after being not single or on my own for almost 20 years has been…interesting. Many things are more settled now than they were a year or even six months ago, but I am still feeling my way through some parts of this new landscape.

The main thing I am noticing is just how many choices I have to make, all the time, each with the same underlying question: Who and how do you want to be in the world?  Continue reading

Wonders: Hearing a Heartbeat, Fifteen Years Later

Zeke sonogramToday, I sat in a doctor’s office and heard my son’s heartbeat through an ultrasound machine for the first time in almost 15 years. Fifteen years ago, I was the one lying on a table having the sonogram, feeling both excited and somewhat terrified at impending parenthood.

This morning, my 14 ½ year old didn’t quite fit on the exam table; his legs and feet hung over the side. I don’t know how he felt as he watched his heart from every possible angle on a tiny screen, hearing that rhythmic swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, swoosh. But as for me, I felt…  Continue reading

Reengaging

sukkah-RonAlmog

Photo courtesy of RonAlmog via Flickr Creative Commons: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ronalmog/1447847411

The month or so leading up to Rosh Hashanah left me fraying at the edges—something I wrote about here.

I’m feeling much better now. Things are feeling manageable. It helps that we’re in the house, getting settled in bit-by-bit, and that most of the major effort involved in the purchase and move is behind me now.  Continue reading